Honne & Tatemae Everywhere

"Honne and Tatemae" is a famous word to describe Japanese culture. Honne is what people are truly feeling or really want to do. It is usually used for behavior and opinions. On the other hand, Tatemae refers to socially expected behavior and opinions, regardless of what the people actually think about and want to do. For instance, suppose you are invited to a neighbor's house, and the host says "Would you like to something to drink?" If you are Japanese, you probably say "yes," even though you are not thirsty (If you were like me, you would finish the drink and even say "it's delicious," regardless of whether it's really good or "not good..." ). This "yes" is known as Tatemae.

The reason the Japanese start using this custom is to avoid conflicts. In Japan, it is important to keep harmony among people, and harmony is assumed as a value.

Zits published November 4, 2011

Well, Honne and Tatemae looks like, however, not only for the Japanese, but also for everybody in the world. Zits shows a very well example of Honne and Tatemae. In the above comic strip, Jeremy (who is sixteen years old, a high school student, and wants to become a musician) tells his mother to thank-you for buying a new down jacket in the first and second scene. However, in the last scene, he is thinking "...said the giant purple hand grenade." It seems that his thought may be "Honne," while his thank-you and comment to his mother may be "Tatemae".

If you avoid conflicts, saying Tatemae might be good. If not, say Honne!

A more sophisticated explanation regarding this topic is available at the following link: http://www.kirainet.com/english/honne-and-tatemae/.